Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
my liver is dry heaving
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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