i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
