It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
