You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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