i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
