i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
