She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize