My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
