all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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