And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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