She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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