This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
