Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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