I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
