can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
