Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
