Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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