Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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