"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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