dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
