hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize