Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
