Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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