I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
