good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize