i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
