Your dad touched me again.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
