ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
