she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize