okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
