You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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