Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Your penis caused this!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
