I'm drive I can fine osifer
My pussy is not your playground.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
