my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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