Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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