do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
