it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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