Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
