your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
