just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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