Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
