I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
