i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
