i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
