Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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