i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
