I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
