Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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