so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
