Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
