Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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