am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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