This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize