ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
