Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
