I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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