butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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