It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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