We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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