Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
