I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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