why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Mom said you looked used
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
