No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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